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Death, Diabetes and other Blessings....

2010-06-25T12:43:00.000-07:00

Sometimes the things we think will be really awesome turn out to be really terrible and the things we think are tragedies turn out to be the best thing for us. I have read the scripture “All things work together for good for those that love God and for those that are called according to His purpose” so many times and have always believed it to be true. However the word “all” never became so real to me as it has this past year. “All”
would include my grandmothers very sudden death, “all” would include my oldest son being diagnosed with Type1 diabetes, “all” would include my sister almost dying and spending several days in ICU, “all” would include my stepmom’s battle with breast cancer, “all” would include everything that that has happened since last July 17^th, 2009.

I had been thinking of writing an apology letter to all of my clients and potential clients explaining why I seemed to have a split personality this past year. But the more I prayed about what I should say I began feeling as though I should write more than just a letter explaining the events and difficulties that occurred. The situations themselves were not really the main issue. I am about to be very honest with you so if TMI is too much for you then I will simply say to you that I am sorry, and leave it at that. For everyone that would like to know what really happened this year here goes.

Death

We moved to Texas to live with MawMaw in 2000, so she would have help taking care of my 100+ year old great grandmother and my 17 year old cousin. In the next two years my great grandmother passed away at 106 and my cousin got married. MawMaw got sick a few months later and came to stay at our house and when she was better decided to stay. After Hurricane Rita (2005) turned our hometown upside down we were forced to move. We moved back to Pennsylvania. It was devastating; we were on leadership at a church that we loved. We were just beginning to have real success with our businesses and we were able to help MawMaw. The next summer, after my sister’s wedding, my MawMaw decided that she was going to come and stay with us for a month or two in PA. So she came to stay and never left. We were overjoyed to have her with us again. She was with me every day and I really loved that. We had the best talks and my kids loved having her here with us. She was my second parent and best friend all my life. The one who, no matter what, thought that what I was doing or had done was totally amazing (even if it wasn’t). She made me feel like I could do anything even if I was scared out of my mind. And when I was too scared or sad or tired or stressed to do anything she knew just what to say to help me get back in the game. She knew how to make me laugh (hysterically) when I felt like crying. And when I was crying and my heart was broken or I felt like I had failed so miserably that nothing would ever be good again she would say “Baby, it’s gonna be alright. This too shall pass.” And she would smile and hug me and I would feel better. I could pick myself up and move forward.

Then very suddenly on July 17^th, 2009 in the middle of my biggest year with my business I came home from a shoot with lunch for her and everything changed. She was getting over a minor illness so I went upstairs to check on her. She was slurring her words and could not get up. I called 911. They said the word stroke and everything else is a blur of tears. I do remember that it was raining really hard that day. When we got to the hospital she couldn’t speak but she kept kissing my hand over and over again. I knew she was trying to comfort me. I just kept telling her how much I loved her. Then the doctor came in and told us that there was nothing more they could do for her. I can’t even describe what I felt in that moment. I held her hand all night until she was gone. The next day I had to get up and shoot a wedding, a wedding that I had been looking forward to all year. So I did, I told myself that my grief would have to wait until wedding season and senior season were over. When I came home from the funeral in Texas I shut the door to her room and forbid anyone to open it.

I very mistakenly thought I had put my grief on “pause”. Family members were talking about how they would miss Christmas and Thanksgiving…but all I could think of was that I would miss Tuesday and Friday and Monday and breakfast. Even though I continued to work it affected me in every way. I couldn’t think and began forgetting things and not following up with situations. When something would go wrong I would be confused and couldn’t figure out what I should do to fix it or how I should respond. (Lab delays or mistakes, internet issues, hackers, phone issues, etc.) Things continued to get worse very quickly. I had no idea how else to deal with losing her and still take care of my clients but to just try not to think about it and just keep working.

Diabetes

In October, my busiest month for weddings, my oldest son began having problems that we immediately recognized as warning signs of diabetes. We called the doctor and had him in within two days. They sent him from the doctor’s office straight to Children’s Hospital in Pittsburgh with a fasting blood sugar of 278. When they checked him again at Children’s that evening, still fasting, it was 317. The diagnosis was Juvenile Type 1 diabetes. They admitted him and I spent a week with him at Children’s Hospital while they got him leveled out and trained us in Diabetic care and procedures for type 1.

When he came home we were so nervous. It was like bringing a newborn home for the first time. How would we remember all of the calculations for diet and insulin? What if we did something wrong? How would he tolerate 6 shots a day?

At this point I began staying up all night just to recheck his blood sugar to make sure he wasn’t dropping low in the middle of the night. Or I was up trying to work all night or make his schedule for the next day. Sleep was very difficult.

As I am sure anyone can imagine, this made me even less able to keep things organized and on track. Only I couldn’t see that yet.

Blessings

My stepmom was diagnosed with breast cancer and had to have surgery. My sister, who I love beyond the moon, almost died and spent 3 days in ICU.

Then one day in November I was sitting in my office and I got a call from an unhappy client. That was it, the straw that broke the camels’ back. I wanted to crawl in a hole and never come out again. Everything in my life and business was such a mess at this point I felt that I could never fix it and I would never recover. I felt like everyone hated me and with good reason. And MawMaw wasn’t there to tell me it would be “ok”. Things just got very dark. I couldn’t sleep and I didn’t want to eat. The only time I felt like I could breathe was during worship team rehearsals. So with the encouragement of my family I just kept singing. Even thought I would just cry through the entire rehearsal sometimes. I felt like I did not deserve God’s help or comfort. I blamed myself for her death and not being able to handle things better with my business during these crises. I told myself that I should have seen the signs sooner, I should have been more organized before all this and I wouldn’t be in this position, I should have, I should have, I should have.

At this point my husband called my attention to my very unstable state and suggested that I “talk to someone”. So I agreed to see the same therapist that had been treating my youngest son who has Aspergers (an Autism spectrum disorder) for the past few years. This was even more difficult as it made me feel like a failure not only as a wife, mom, business person but it also made me feel like a failure as a Christian. I am so blessed that I had family and friends praying for me at this time. Everyone needs help sometimes and as my therapist says mental health is just as important as physical health. Also, I really believe that God gives therapist the compassion and care to help others when they need it just as medical doctors do. I was able to begin therapy and because of the blessing of that was able to begin my journey back from that very dark place. Friends would send me scripture texts that were just what I needed at those moments…”all things work together for good…”, “…He will never leave you nor forsake you…” and so many others. I had clients who even though they had every right to be frustrated and angry with me treated me with compassion and understanding. I could never begin to explain how much I was blessed by those around me.

You may be wondering why I would title this section Blessings. Well, it is because although this year has definitely been the worst yet for my family and me we have learned so much from and about each other and mostly about God and how He can use even the worst circumstances to help us to grow and change. He has moved for us miraculously this year despite all of the tragedy and turmoil. And we believe and expect for more breakthroughs and provisions to come. We also appreciate each other more and are much more thankful for the simple everyday things. It has changed us all for the better.

In the past few weeks I am finally beginning to feel like myself again. The fog is clearing in my head and I can think again and reason and solve problems. Something I definitely took for granted before. Thanks to the blessing of my wonderful therapist who I honestly consider to be my friend, I am becoming more at peace with myself as I am beginning to understand myself and truly accept myself , flaws and all, for the first time in my life. I know to some this will sound corny but it is very true. I have realized that I have to set limits in my life and my business and that it is ok to have boundaries and to sometimes say “No”. These are the wonderful blessings that my Lord has been pouring out on me as I am starting again. He is using them to fill my life with peace instead of it being full of stress. He has shown me that not everything bad that happens is an attack of the enemy. Sometimes it is just life. And sometimes it is due to our own misconceptions about ourselves and the people around us. We as Christians tend to give the enemy too much credit. I know now that Jesus is my very best friend and that He will never leave me. I was leaning on my MawMaw as she was leaning on Him. And now it is time for me to lean on Him. “I will bless the Lord at ALL times…His praise will continually be in my mouth”

On that note I would like to say that I have made some very drastic personal changes as well as some very drastic (and much needed) business changes. I am in the process of restructuring my business to fit my life not the other way around. I will only be accepting a maximum of 5 wedding per year from now on (previous clients or by referral only). Otherwise I will be second shooting with my wonderful friend Catherine McKinley (who is truly the best wedding photographer). I will be limiting the amount of High School Seniors that I accept as well, at least for this year as I am putting the new structures and systems into place.

I will be closed on Mondays and Sundays no exceptions. I will also be closed on my husband’s birthday, my kid’s birthdays, my birthday and our anniversary as well as all major holidays. That might sound obvious but I have always worked on those days. See what I mean, boundaries.

I still plan to send a letter to all of my clients explaining the new structures as well as opening communication so that if you have any questions going forward we can address those. I am very well aware that I have lost or will lose clients or potential clients because of all of this and I am finally at the point where I can accept that. However, being a people pleaser, it still saddens me and I do sincerely apologize to everyone for any frustrations and /or delays that resulted from this past year and my struggles. For those that will not be returning to work with me I completely understand and I truly do wish you all the best. And for those of you who are still considering working with me I hope that you will allow me the opportunity to give you a wonderful portrait experience from start to finish.

And to all of my family and friends, thank you so much for your prayers and love and support this year. I love you very much and I would not have survived this year without you.

Sincerely,

Ticia

June 24, 2010

www.ticiamangino.com

tmanphotoart@gmail.com

724-614-8039

TECHNICAL DIFFICULTIES...

2010-04-26T10:49:00.000-07:00

Well this is a bumpy start to our new season but we are experiencing some difficulties with our phone line as well as our internet connection. We are in the process of changing providers and will have everything back up and running by May 8th. If you need to get in touch with us to schedule or if you have a question please email us at tmanphotoart@gmail.com. We will be checking email off site twice a week until we have our new connections installed. Thank you so much for your patience!

A New Season.....A New Beginning

2010-04-01T09:23:00.001-07:00

Wow, I didn't realize how long it had been since I last posted. Well it has been a very trying and challenging 7 months but I am finally beginning to feel like myself again. Losing someone close to you, who you live with, see everyday and lean on is so incredibly devastating. And no one tells you that it gets worse before it gets better. But I am so thankful to God for bringing me through this storm. Thank you to all of you for being patient with me and so understanding and compassionate. It has been such a blessing to me and I am looking forward to this year and the wonderful things that are in store for all of us :) I will be posting some of my work from the past few months in the next few days...

HOLIDAY PORTRAITS AND FANTABULOUS CARDS

2009-10-22T11:31:00.000-07:00

Intoducing the Senior Premier Video!

2009-10-09T11:44:00.000-07:00

New for this year is the Senior Premier Video! Check it out and see what the buzz is about :)
Featured in this video Elicia Cutchall one of our Senior 2010 Reps!

Welcome Baby Jia!

2009-06-16T19:48:00.000-07:00

This week I had the great honor of photographing Jia...my best friend Lorre's new baby girl! She is just the sweetest thing! Congratulations to her mom and dad Lorre & Manny and her big brother Nate and her sisters Jorre, Jonel, Jaeleigh and Jael !

Maggie & Patrick LPPACS Prom 2009

2009-06-04T18:34:00.000-07:00

I had the great honor of photographing Maggie again this spring for her Prom. We shot her senior session last fall and she was just so much fun to work with....so creative with a high fashion look!
Maggie is attending the Lincoln Park Performing Arts Charter School Prom this weekend with Patrick and they look so great together. We got together early to do this pre-prom shoot because not only did Maggie want some rockin' prom pictures :) she made her dress!!! And she did a fantastic job as you can see...

Recital 2009

2009-06-02T13:15:00.000-07:00

What a proud mom I am! Kia danced so beautifully in her jazz and ballet numbers in her recital on Sunday! It is so much fun to photography these kids dancing and having so much fun. Her costumes were both kind of scary this year with her Jazz dance being to the song Disturbia and her role in the Snow White Ballet was one of the evil queens minions. She really enjoyed the dramatic make-up and costumes....go figure.. Great Job Kia!

Nate's new campus....

2009-05-26T21:14:00.000-07:00

as everyone knows having senior portraits done is not at the top of most senior guys list...I am really glad that Nate agreed to a shoot for his mom Audra who is one of my very good friends. We did the session on the Westminster College campus in New Wilmington, PA which is his college of choice and will be his home for the next few years. I had a really great time shooting with him, he is a really great guy and I wish him all the best. Congrats Nate!

Chris & Jody are married!!!!

2009-05-25T11:40:00.000-07:00

Yesterday I shot one of the most beautiful and fun weddings ever! If you would have asked me last week to describe my ideal wedding to shoot this would have been it. Vintage car (Jody's Dad's), birdcage veil, wonderful couple who is soooooooo in love! What an amazing and romantic day. It was super warm out when we were shooting these images but elegance and good old fashioned romance prevailed. I just had to put up this sneek peek for everyone to enjoy, I can't wait to edit the rest of the images!
Congratulations again to Jody and Chris! I hope they are having a great time on their cruise!
Oh, and a shout out Sarah & Mercedes at CJ Cochran and Co. in New Castle, PA for the wonderful job on Jody's hair and make-up! I will most certainly be blogging this one again in a few weeks, you won't believe the handmade details!!!

Kia turns 14......it all goes too quickly....

2009-05-15T16:16:00.000-07:00

HAPPY BIRTHDAY KIA! For my daughters 14th Birthday my very good friends Catherine and Becca and I took her on a photo shoot at Stan Hywet Hall and Gardens in Akron. She is such a joy and inspiration to me with her intelligence, humor, beauty and firey personality! I just love her so much I am so proud to be her mother. I love you Kia....happy birthday!

my new Turtle !!!!

2009-04-22T13:14:00.000-07:00

Since the passing of my pet turtle Pistachio two years ago I have missed him terribly, so when my aunt called and said she was sending me a new turtle you can imagine my excitement! I was anxiously awaiting his arrival and today was the big day! I have named him PJ! He will be a great partner while I am working in the office! Look how adorable he is !!!

2009-04-06T08:49:00.000-07:00

It is so nice when I can work close to friends and family. I was so happy to book the wedding of my sisters, sister in law in Little Rock, Arkansas. I will have a few of those up to share in the next day or two but I wanted to share some other images from my time here with my mom and my sister.
My mom recently got some very sad news about the failing health of her dog Bear, we love him so much he is the smartest, sweetest dog ever, so since I was in town we did a little portrait session to immortilize him! He is so cute! And then my sister Tiffanye made her famously delicious Caprese salad...YUMMY!!! I wonder what's for dinner tonight. :)

Guys & Dolls in Neshannock!!

2009-03-31T10:10:00.000-07:00

I was so happy to be called again this year to do the promo shots for Neshannock High School's spring production. This year's musical is Guys & Dolls directed by none other than the very talented Michael Cavalier. I had such a great time on Sunday working with the cast on such a fun and colorful show. The sets and costumes are truly amazing! Check it out if you are in the market for some great entertainment this weekend April 3rd-5th! Thanks again to Michael and his wonderful cast and crew! Break a leg!!!

Attention all 2010 Brides!!!!

2009-03-19T08:03:00.000-07:00

I am now in the process of completing my catalog for 2010 and as you all know there are changes and a price increase each year. So in the spirit of economic good will in these tough times all 2010 weddings booked by the end of March will be at the 2009 prices! And again, as many of you know I only book a limited number of weddings per year so time is of the essence as I am already meeting with brides for next years wedding season. Good Luck to all!
(and congratulations to Denise and John who are getting married next mont!)

My Birthday.....

2008-09-21T11:12:00.000-07:00

What a birthday blessing to be able to shoot such a beautiful and completely JOYFUL wedding! Taylor and Caitlyn celebrated their wedding at Grove City College. Congratulations again and I wish you many days filled with all of the love and smiles that were so evident yesterday. :)

Inspiration...

2008-08-31T22:53:00.000-07:00

As an artist I am very inspired by my enviroment. My home is a beautiful space that fuels my creativity. In my town there are beautiful things everywhere. Oh sure there are "not so beautiful" things everywhere too but those are really easy to see and everyone see them. When you really love a place or a person for that matter you mostly notice the beautiful things that made you fall in love in the first place. This is why I love photography, you can capture that beauty in the things, places and people that you love and have them surrounding you daily.
As I go about my day one thing that never fails to inspire me are children. Yes, they are cute and yes they are innocent but the thing about them that I find the most fascinating and beautiful is that they are honest about who they are. They are them and they just expect the world to not only accept it but to like it! It is such a beautiful thing this honesty. These are the things that I strive to capture every time I pick up my camera, wheather it is at a wedding or during a portrait session. Even when we get old enough to begin hiding most of who we are our real selves are still there...waiting to be accepted and celebrated by those we love and who love us. That is what a portrait should be, a glimpse of what the one who loves us most sees when they look at us. With that said, this is Melanie who just turned 3 years old. Have you ever seen a more beautiful princess?

2008-08-02T09:29:00.000-07:00

These are just a few images of Tim & Shannon's wedding from last week. I had such a wonderful time watching two of the sweetest people I know tie that knot! I love you guys! Congratulations to the newlyweds and their families! It was such a joy to shoot a wedding for people that I care so much for. :)

Arriving in Arkansas

2008-07-29T09:55:00.000-07:00

So glad to be out of the car....after two days. Now for a week of relaxation at Mom's! Mom and Kia tried out the Pettiskirts. Bear & Rockie were so happy to see us and we even saw an alien!

South for the summer?!

2008-07-29T09:43:00.000-07:00

On our way south I think we discovered the solution to the gas situation.....Rico!?

Wedding on the Lake

2008-07-22T14:04:00.001-07:00

This past weekend I shot a wedding with my very good friend Catherine on the surface of the SUN!!! just kidding it was on Lake Erie. We had such a great time shooting the bride and grooms portraits on the beach, super hot that day, but still fun. Kristy and Jason make a beautiful couple and we wish them all the best! Here are a few of my shots from the day.

Pettiskirts are here!!!!!!!

2008-07-22T12:50:00.001-07:00

We just recieved our first shipment of skirts and OMG they are too cute. We will be offering these skirts as an option for our Kids Coture portrait collection. So check back if you would like to see more of these fun, fabulous and funky images. By the way I was babysitting Jael again today so she got to model the first one. She loved the skirt so much she didn't want to take it off! So sweet. :)

Fireworks Slideshow!

2008-07-05T10:48:00.000-07:00

Below are a few of the images from our 4th of July festivities and here is the link to the full slideshow if you would like to see all of the Fabulousness! :)
Just click this link Fab 4th Fireworks
the music on the slideshow is by AUS10

2008-07-05T09:14:00.000-07:00

VICTORY!!!!! I have finally done it, after years of failed attempts I have finally cracked the code on fireworks photos! I am so happy this is one of my favorite holidays and I love, love, love fireworks. Rico and Tone had a great time with the sparklers and really enjoyed the fireworks show at Uncle BoBBo's house. Happy 4th everyone!

Jessica & Ben's Wedding

2008-07-03T15:11:00.000-07:00

Congratulations Jess & Ben! This couple is SO in love and was a joy to be around. Their day was so romantic and fun as you can tell from these images. Jessica was a bridesmaid in a wedding I shot in April and Ben is the girls soccer coach at New Wilmington High. Thanks for making me a part of your day!

2008-07-02T12:47:00.001-07:00

2008-07-02T11:33:00.000-07:00

2008-07-02T09:11:00.000-07:00

Babysitting Jael today! Yes I started shooting as soon as she was asleep. Never go to sleep at aunt ticia's house. :)

2008-07-01T21:49:00.000-07:00

Meet Holden! Just 3 weeks old and so very cute! Holden's mom and dad chose me to shoot his very first portrait and I was so honored to capture this priceless time for such a great new family. Congratulations Danyell & Jeremiah!

2008-07-01T21:06:00.000-07:00

Hello everyone and welcome to my brand SPANKIN' new blog.
Check in here often for all of the super groovy specials and stuff.
And for a peek at some of the sessions and weddings. You could
be the next Blog star! needa tishue?